How to Deal With a Coworker Who is Out to Get You: 7 Strategies

Last Updated on December 26, 2023 by Daniel Boyce

Working with colleagues can be a great way to build relationships, learn and grow. But, it’s not pleasant when an office mate turns into an enemy.

Dealing with a hostile colleague can be hard and emotionally draining, leaving you feeling powerless and vulnerable.

Sometimes the hostility we face from toxic coworkers is heavily filled with passive-aggressive behavior. Your mean coworker might make sarcastic comments about your work in private or try to undermine your success by sabotaging projects and tasks.

In this article, you will learn about 7 strategies on how to deal with a coworker who is out to get you.

Having to interact daily with someone who so obviously resents you can take a toll on our emotional and mental health as well as our productivity at work.

It’s important to learn how to stand up for yourself and protect your dignity when dealing with a coworker who is out to get you.

1. Stand up for yourself

If you feel like a coworker is out to get you, do not be afraid to stand up for yourself and call them out on their bad behavior.

Make sure to approach the situation calmly and rationally so that you can make your case without it becoming too heated or aggressive.

Address the issue head-on by reaffirming boundaries and clarifying misunderstandings in a polite, professional manner.

If the situation escalates, don’t be afraid to involve a supervisor or HR representative.

It is important to document any instances of harassment or bullying to protect yourself and ensure that the issue is addressed properly.

It can also be helpful to take a step back and assess the situation objectively. Ask yourself if any underlying issues may be causing tension between you and your coworker.

2. Document the incidents

Document all of the incidents that have taken place when your coworker has tried to get you in trouble or put you down.

This will protect you if they ever go any further than verbal harassment and make a formal complaint against you.

It’s also worth noting that documenting incidents makes it harder for them to deny the truth.

Keep a record of all emails, conversations, and other interactions you have with this coworker. Make sure to include dates and times as well as any witnesses who may have been present.

This will help you build a case if the situation escalates.

If possible, try to get your supervisor or human resources involved in the situation. They can help mediate between you and your coworker and ensure that the issue is addressed properly.

3. Speak with upper management

If talking with your colleague doesn’t help, speak with higher levels of management to resolve any issues other sneaky coworkers may have towards you as well as professionally.

Seeking assistance from those in positions of authority can be beneficial, as they can recognize any issues between individuals while preserving a respectful workplace, thus protecting everyone from any additional harm caused by disrespectful or intrusive behavior.

When speaking with upper management, be sure to provide as much detail as possible about the situation.

This includes any evidence you may have of the coworker’s behavior, such as emails or other written communication.

Additionally, it is important to remain professional and respectful when discussing the issue with your superiors.

It is also important to remember that while speaking with upper management can help resolve issues, it is not a guarantee that the situation will be resolved. Be prepared to take further action if necessary.

4. Avoid social situations with them

Whenever possible, reduce any occasions where you and your difficult coworkers could interact to decrease the chance that they can start conflict or take advantage of you.

As long as the workplace environment remains civil, it may be possible to limit unpleasant interactions with someone who is creating an uncomfortable presence.

If you do find yourself in a situation where you’re forced to interact with this toxic person, try to remain as professional and polite as possible.

Don’t let them bait you into an argument or get under your skin. It can be difficult but it’s important to remember that the best way to handle someone who is out to get you is by not giving them any ammunition to use against you.

5. Try to build rapport with your colleague

It may be difficult, but it is important to try and build a rapport with the coworker who is out to get you.

This doesn’t mean that you have to become friends, but rather that you should attempt to create an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding.

Show them that you are willing to listen and work together to resolve any issues that may be causing the tension.

This can help to create a more positive work environment and make it easier for both of you to do your jobs without any further conflict.

It is also important to be aware of your behavior and how it may be affecting the situation.

If you are feeling threatened or intimidated by this coworker, try to remain professional and courteous in all interactions.

Avoid any confrontational language or actions that could further escalate the situation.

Finally, if the situation does not improve after attempting to build rapport, it may be necessary to take further action.

6. Stay focused on your own goals

No matter how much a coworker may be out to get you, it is important to stay focused on your own goals and objectives.

Don’t let the negative energy of someone else’s actions distract you from what you need to do to succeed.

Keep your head down and focus on doing your job well, as this will show that you are not intimidated by their attempts to bring you down.

If your coworker is actively trying to sabotage you, document any instances of their behavior and report it to your supervisor.

This will show that you are taking the situation seriously and that you are not willing to tolerate such negative behavior.

It can also be helpful to try and build a relationship with the coworker in question. Even if they have been hostile towards you in the past, it is important to remember that everyone is capable of change.

Showing them respect and understanding can help to create a more positive work environment and make it easier for both of you to do your jobs without any further conflict.

7. Seek support from friends/coworkers and other people

It can be difficult to deal with a coworker who is out to get you, so it is important to seek support from your friends and other coworkers.

Having someone to talk to about the situation can help you process your feelings and come up with strategies for dealing with the situation.

It can also be helpful to have someone who can provide an outside perspective on the situation and offer advice or support.

If you have a good relationship with your supervisor, it is also important to talk to them about the situation.

Your supervisor can help mediate the situation and provide guidance on how to handle it.

They may also be able to provide additional resources or support that can help you navigate the situation.

Finally, it is important to remember that you are not alone in this situation. Some likely other people have gone through similar experiences and can offer advice or support.

Reach out to them and take advantage of their experience and wisdom.

Conclusion

It is important to remember that dealing with a coworker who is out to get you can be very difficult.

However, it is essential to stay calm and keep your professional composure. Keep your interactions with them as cordial and respectful as possible, even if they are challenging or unpleasant.

Talk to colleagues in the office about any concerns or issues you may have and document any negative encounters with your coworker.

If the situation escalates, then it might be time to take further steps, such as speaking to a supervisor or HR representative.

With careful planning and management of the situation, you should hopefully be able to protect yourself and maintain a positive work environment.