10 Ways to Deal with an Overbearing Boss

Last Updated on January 26, 2024 by Daniel Boyce

We’ve all worked for bad bosses before. Some scream and yell, and some are quietly difficult bosses.

Strong leadership is usually associated with someone that is assertive, confident, and strong. But when is it taken too far?

Over half the US workforce is stressed while at work.

Overbearing bosses placing unrealistic expectations on their employees is a big reason for the increase in stress at work.

In this article, I’ll share 10 tips for how to manage an overbearing boss and make the most of a difficult work situation.

Difference Between Overbearing and Cruel

An overbearing boss can be one that sets unrealistic expectations, requires constant status updates, micromanages, and gets easily frustrated when projects aren’t completed on their time.

Sometimes it’s temporary, but a lot of times it’s nonstop.

There can be different types of bosses. An overbearing manager can become cruel once they are intentionally trying to harm you, make you feel incompetent, or put you down.

When they lack empathy for your work and even you as an employee they can definitely be trying to exploit you.

We won’t be talking about that situation here.

This article will cover a boss that does care about each of his employees, but can push them too hard, be unrealistic, and is usually caused by their own anxiety.

10 Ways to Deal With an Overbearing Boss

Dealing with an overbearing boss can be a draining and stressful experience.

Unfortunately, it is rarely easy just to quit the job, so we need to find ways to make our working conditions more bearable.

It can be tough dealing with bad-tempered, unreasonable or overbearing bosses. But you don’t have to take it sitting down.

1. Don’t Take it Personally

Sometimes your immediate boss isn’t necessarily taking out their frustrations on you or pushing you so hard because they don’t like you.

If this were the case, it would start to carry over into a toxic boss and workplace situation. 

These situations can be played out because of their own anxiety about performance or work.

They may also be pressured by senior leaders to perform at such a higher level that it becomes passed down to them.

Understanding these intentions behind these actions can help you understand why they’re being done.

Maybe they’ll even help you find some mutual understanding with your boss in the future, so you can work together better.

2. Don’t be a Punching Bag

You do have to stand up for yourself. If you become an easy target, you will always be the preferred target when needed.

When an overbearing boss starts getting contentious, make sure you are able to communicate the expectations that were set for you and how you performed against them.

There are many ways to stick up for yourself, the next 8 tips will give you ways to do this.

3. Listen and Repeat

When an overbearing manager starts barking orders at you, make sure to really listen to what they are saying and repeat them back.

This will reduce the chance of miscommunication of the expectations.

You can even ask how they expect the work to be handled including timelines, workload, and who carries out each task between coworkers.

Repeat this information back to them as well. 

This may even give your boss a chance to hear these unreasonable expectations and shift to a much more reasonable approach.

At present, they might only be seeking whatever it takes to achieve results.

However, listening to it being repeated back to them could help them gain a better perspective.

4. Set Realistic Expectations

When discussing project goals and timelines, make sure to set realistic expectations for yourself. By the time your boss sets unrealistic expectations, it’s too late.

Effective managers will be willing to work out realistic expectations for both parties more at the beginning of a project. 

If you find yourself stuck with an unrealistic deadline, then take a step back and reassess your situation.

You may not be able to extend the deadline, but you can certainly give yourself more time to work on the project.

Be sure to also discuss what you would need to finish the project so that you can get started right away.

5. Keep Details of the Work You’ve Done

A bad boss can get frustrated when their expectations aren’t met, and start to blame everyone else but themselves.

This is where keeping details of the work that you have completed against the timelines and expectations set will come in handy. 

Hopefully, this doesn’t lead to a toxic workplace, but you must first look out for yourself and your performance.

You never want to throw any coworkers under the bus, but also you need to be able to show what work you have completed in a meaningful way.

This is also a good place to bring solutions to the table on why work isn’t being completed in the manner an overbearing boss wants it done.

Always bring solutions to the table when there are challenges that come up.

6. Build Trust

Building trust can seem impossible at times. However, it’s an important step towards having more control over what happens next.

Having a stronger relationship with your boss will help you feel more comfortable asking questions and getting answers.

You’ll also find yourself feeling more confident about speaking up if something doesn’t make sense to you.

Building trust in this situation has to start with taking on small commitments, and then as it goes, taking on larger commitments.

As these small commitments arise, make sure to make your boss recognize when you have completed this task for them or stuck to your word.

These little commitments will go a long way. 

7. Stay Professional

You may want to rage back on your boss, or even on another coworker that might be slowing down the process or not performing.

But this will only contribute to the problem. Lashing out at others is a big part of toxic workplace cultures.

This takes the issue from too much pressure to insensibility. 

Don’t let the situation turn you into something you aren’t.

Handle the situation like a professional would and follow these tips and others. 

8. Stay On Top of Your Own Work

Worry about your own situation before worrying about someone else’s. A lot of people enjoy helping others and even seeing them succeed.

However, if you’re under a deadline and pressure, make sure you finish what’s assigned to you first.

A domineering manager can be hard, but the job may still be doable.

9. Seek Help

There may be a time and place to bring in HR or senior leadership. I would first try to work it out with your direct boss.

But in a last-ditch effort, you may need to seek help from another source. Ask HR if they have a DEIB structure.

You should make known the ways that you have tried to resolve the situation previously.

And, like mentioned before, always bring a solution to the problem.

This shows responsible behavior to all parties involved and can get matters under control.

10. Avoid Future Overbearing Bosses

Lastly, and an obvious one, is to avoid overbearing bosses in the future.

One good thing about going through this situation is we now know what we don’t want in a future employer. 

You might end up changing careers for something more fulfilling.

Make sure to effectively ask questions about management style, company culture, and communication styles.

I’d even suggest having some one on ones with potential coworkers to ask about these topics.

And be sure to explain why you left your previous company in a positive tone.  

Summary

An overbearing boss can put a lot of stress on your professional life. I truly believe that the majority want the best out of their employees.

Most of these behaviors aren’t coming from a dislike of you personally, but rather from their own anxieties and challenges. 

Follow these 10 ways to deal with an overbearing boss and hopefully find your way back to a more straightforward process, better work-life balance, and potentially a more humble boss.