How to Deal With Passive Aggressive Coworkers: 9 Proven Techniques

Last Updated on February 17, 2024 by Daniel Boyce

Do you have a notoriously passive aggressive coworker? Being around this person can be taxing and draining.

And, unfortunately, this type of behavior is so common in the workplace that you’re bound to encounter one at some point in your career.

Passive aggressiveness is a type of behavior that involves making snide comments instead of being up-front about feelings or disagreements.

It’s a way of avoiding confrontation by pushing buttons in subtle ways. These behaviors can range from small to large and affect how one interacts with their coworkers.

If you’re dealing with a passive aggressive coworker, knowing what tools are available for managing these relationships effectively is essential.

In this article, we’ll explore nine strategies on how to deal with passive aggressive coworkers.

9 Techniques to Deal With Passive Aggressive Coworkers

We’ve all had to deal with passive aggressive coworkers in the workplace. This can be difficult, as they may not outright confront us or have a clear issue with us, but instead try to undermine and sabotage our work.

If you are trying to deal with this type of behavior from a colleague, there are some techniques that you can use.

1. Identify and assess the situation

You need to identify and assess the passive aggressive behavior of your coworker.

It’s important to recognize their passive aggressive tone or action when it happens so that you can address it appropriately.

2. Talk in private

It’s best to talk to your coworker in a private setting rather than in front of everyone else.

This will help create a safe environment for both of you, where you don’t have an audience listening in on every word that is being said.

3. Stay calm

When having a difficult conversation with your coworker, try your best to stay as calm and collected as possible.

Responding angrily with aggression will only escalate the situation and make things worse for both parties involved. This is the way this coworker wants you to respond to their actions. 

4. Stay assertive

Assertiveness means expressing yourself confidently and honestly without coming across as hostile or intimidating to your colleague.

Be clear about what you need from them and what behaviors are not acceptable, but be sure to do so without attacking their character or belittling them in any way

5. Express yourself tactfully

Ask questions like “why did you say/do this” or open up lines of communication by saying something along the lines of “I feel like we don’t agree on this subject, let me explain my side…”

By asking questions, you can gain insight into their thoughts behind their passive-aggressive dynamic and potentially resolve conflicts more easily than if you approached them aggressively from the start

6. Address feelings and behaviors separately

Don’t mix up feelings with their behavior, no matter how angry or emotional you may become during the conversation.

This can lead to even more animosity between you two. Separate the emotions from the actual behavior when addressing anything related to their passive-aggressive patterns.

This allows both parties to have room for understanding where each other is coming from while still addressing any issues at hand

7. Set boundaries

Setting clear boundaries with a passive aggressive people is key.

Inform them of the appropriate and unacceptable conduct expected in the workplace. If they persist in unwelcome behaviors, introduce consequences as needed, such as consulting HR.

8. Be direct

When dealing with a passive aggressive coworker, it’s important to be direct and honest about your feelings.

Don’t beat around the bush or try to sugarcoat things. This can lead to more confusion and misunderstanding.

Be clear in what you want to say and don’t be afraid to express yourself.

9. Listen

It’s also important to listen to what your coworker has to say.

Even if you don’t agree with them, it’s important to hear their side of the story and try to understand where they are coming from.

This can help create a more open dialogue between the two of you and potentially lead to a resolution.

What is passive aggressive behavior?

A passive aggressive coworker is someone who expresses hostility, anger, frustration, and resentment toward another person in an indirect and non-assertive way.

These behaviors display themselves in subtle actions or words that may create an uncomfortable environment for everyone involved.

Passive aggression usually manifests itself in the workplace when one coworker makes remarks to another out of irritation rather than professional criticism.

A passive aggressive individual may also become hostile when called on to do additional work or offer assistance outside of their job responsibilities.

Usually this negative behavior comes from those with low self-esteem. Some people can’t deal with expectations or pressure and take it out on others. 

This type of behavior can create rifts between colleagues as it’s seen as unprofessional or immature.

If you are working with a passive aggressive colleague, it’s important to speak up if you feel uncomfortable or disrespected.

Communicate directly with them about how their negative behavior affects you and express your desire for change within the workplace environment.

Make sure to remain respectful while doing so, as this type of reaction can further escalate the situation if not handled properly.

It’s also necessary to address these issues with a supervisor if things don’t improve after addressing them with direct conversation with the passive aggressive coworker.

Supervisors must deal with this behavior quickly and fairly to reduce tension among staff members and ensure a productive working environment for all involved.

Passive aggression is something that should not be tolerated in any professional setting as it can prevent people from feeling respected and hinders productivity overall.

As such, installing ground rules at the beginning of employment on how disagreements are handled will go a long way toward preventing further disruptions in the workplace brought about by passive aggressive behavior.

Conclusion

Dealing with passive aggressive behavior can be difficult, but it is possible to manage the situation effectively by using proactive techniques such as picking your battles, maintaining an assertive communication style, and setting boundaries.

Being aware of their bad behavior and reacting consistently can help defuse negative emotions and prevent the situation from escalating.

Additionally, staying positive and focusing on your work can help you to stay focused on the bigger picture, thereby helping to diffuse any tensions or frustrations that may arise.

With all of these strategies in mind, you should be able to better manage your interactions with passive aggressive people and build successful professional relationships.